Rat Race with Obstacles

I sometimes feel like I’m in some odd contest of getting daily tasks done within a limited timeframe, but with extra obstacles. Daily tasks can be as simple as taking a shower or making dinner. The timeframe is dictated by the start of school, a work meeting, or bedtime. The obstacles are generously provided by my kids. They involve a wide variety of things that surprise me every day.

My 1.5yo is most original and has come up with the following (and much more): Getting all the cans out of the recycling bin and sprinkling them over the kitchen, getting stuck between the armchair and the footrest (head down), turning off the knobs of the furnace while I’m cooking, spilling a bottle of olive oil on the floor, and lathering her entire face with my hand cream. When my 9yo is around, the obstacles usually involve chases of the 1.5 yo that consistently result in one of them needing comforting after a crash or bump in, and reminding him to a) brush his teeth, b) put on socks, c) read his book, and d) bring his backpack with him. And when our 11yo is around, additional obstacles are added, mostly in the form of reassuring him it will be okay if his sister touches any object that he technically owns.

Today, I was home alone with our little one. Dealing with one kid is a piece of cake. Except for, my daughter is no piece of cake. She is feisty. My day started off with a refused breakfast (I was physically unable to get her in her highchair) because she wanted to go outside so desperately. We are currently going through a three-day Fall storm in metro Vancouver, so going out wasn’t too appealing. She of course wanted her breakfast after our rain walk, when it was time to go to daycare. After that interesting start of the day, I got a ton of admin and other small work tasks done in the morning, as well as a cleanup of the house and two loads of laundry. In the afternoon, I drove to work to catch up with a colleague who just had a baby. I was still in what I call “checklist mode”, which usually is a leftover of “rat-race mode”. Rat-race mode happens with children around, checklist mode happens when they are gone and I get stuff done. When she arrived with a tiny, lovely, one-month old baby bundled on her chest, I got kicked out of checklist mode instantly. How special are these moments? We went for a walk and shared some baby experiences. It rained on and off but neither of us seemed to notice because it was just so nice to be outside in the forest, chat, and connect.

After this hour of oasis, I was harshly put back into rat-race mode. My ex had asked if my son could have dinner at our house this evening. The mom of my son’s friend was so kind to drop him off around 5:15 pm after a play date. I navigated traffic while keeping track of time. I have been called eerily exact when it comes to estimating when I arrive home. I also usually beat Google. This afternoon, I assessed that the drive would take 26 minutes (two less than Google said), picking up the little one would take an additional 9 minutes, and I left at 4:36. At 5:11pm, I got back home. I had made it on time to start another rat race of dinner, bath-time, and bedtime with two obstacles.

This time though, the two obstacles entertained each other. The 9yo invented a game of throwing balls up the stairs, over the toddler gate, into the kitchen, which the little one then fetched, to throw back to him through the fence. Prepping dinner was a breeze without my two obstacles. They also distracted each other during dinner. The little one made such silly faces that the big kid forgot he didn’t like his spaghetti, and finished his bowl. When the little one started throwing food, the big kid made faces so that she got distracted. How lovely. And then they even wanted to do bath time together which meant that the little one was so fascinated by the water cascade built by the big kid, that she forgot to throw buckets of water over the edge.

I can of course highlight different aspects of tonight. Because there was food throwing. There was also a big crash that floored my 1.5 yo and required lots of soothing. There was a lot of protest when the little one did not get candy while the bid kid did. And bedtime was technically 15 minutes too late. But the important part was that both my kids and I had lots of fun. They played with each other, giggled, and laughed. Once the big kid got picked up by his dad, the little one waved goodbye, and the big kid gave her a hug. That moment alone is worth all the bump-ins, dirty floors, and empty hand cream tubes.