The Grocery Run

My husband and I consider ourselves planners. We sit together on Sunday night and discuss who does drop offs and pickups each day that week. We each have a long-term and a daily work task planner. We also each manage a custody schedule for our oldest two kids. Because our exes both have partners who also have kids, managing this schedule, with vacations, work trips, and family events for all families that are linked through shared kids, is complex (that is an understatement). Yet, there is always a moment (or two) in the week on which we realize there is not enough food in the fridge for tomorrow’s breakfast or dinner. If we are such skilled planners, why can’t we get our act together for groceries?

Usually, the grocery crisis happens on Sunday night when we get home after a weekend at the cabin, or after one of us returns from a work trip. We’ve been so busy enjoying or surviving these couple of days that “life after” has not been given any thought yet.

There are a couple of solutions to the grocery crisis. Does one of us run to the store on Sunday night - arguably the day of the week on which we are both most exhausted? (no). Do we go to the store tomorrow during work? (no). Does one of us do it tomorrow while the other picks up the kids? (maybe). Do we just do take out tomorrow and postpone to problem to Tuesday? (yes).

The problem with these options is that they all have tradeoffs. Sunday night shopping, aside from the fact that we are exhausted, cuts into our time together once the kids are in bed. Shopping on Monday during work reduces work time, and so does the next option even though it at least feels a bit fairer. Takeout doesn’t take time but does not solve the problem.

Life is full of tradeoffs and this grocery run crisis is just a small example, a zoomed in picture, of such tradeoffs. Do I work longer, or do I go for a run? Do I work tonight, or do I spend quality time with my partner? Do I play soccer with my kid after school, or do I finish a work task? It would sometimes almost be nice if I did not have options, as weighing the options consumes a lot of energy. Plans and schedules prevent me from thinking for too long about options. It prevents decision fatigue.

This September, our two oldest won’t be going to after school care anymore. I will start the workday early and pick them up at 3pm. But then there are two boys home while it technically is still my workday. That means that there are a lot of options to weight. Which is why we already made a schedule for them so that they understand what an afternoon at home will look like. I will have to work for at least another hour, so they can relax (meaning screen time) for 30 minutes, and then they need to do an activity that does not involve screens for 45 minutes. Such expectations make it easier for everyone. Playing soccer before 4:30pm just isn’t an option.

This evening, I stopped the energy leak from figuring out when to buy groceries. I signed up for a delivery membership at a local supermarket. The tradeoff is that we won’t get to pick our produce. We’ll give it a go. Instead of figuring out when to buy groceries, I just ordered food online that will be delivered by 8am tomorrow morning. We’ll have breakfast and dinner for the rest of the week.