Winter Vacation Without Snow

My husband convinced me that normal families take a two-week vacation around Christmas and New Year’s. It would be fun. I tried to ignore the red flag waving vigorously in a corner of my brain. Let’s try to be a normal family then.

Our “normal” winter break started on Friday December 22. Day 1 of potty training our 21-month-old. Trust me, plenty of people had already assured me that it was a bad idea to do that over Christmas. If I hadn’t mentioned it before, I can be pretty stubborn. Day 1 was a disaster, but the book I had read - and successfully used with my son when he was little - had already prepared me. My husband said softly that he really understood if I would just call it off. I thought my husband knew me better than that. On Day 2, after her nap, something clicked. She actually sat on the potty, and pee was collected in the potty. In the evening, we had friends over. They offered to make dinner at my house so that I could keep watching my toddler’s crotch like a hawk. My little one had a blast with no accidents. See, I thought, that really wasn’t so hard.

On the morning of Day 3 she peed on the floor six times within an hour, each time looking me defiantly in the eye. The book had prepared me for this power struggle too. And therefore, I told her that we wouldn’t go outside until I saw a pee in the potty. I won.

We are on day 10 now. Was it a bad idea? Well, no, but it was a lot of work. It was about seven days of strictly planning life around my daughter’s water intake, and vigilantly watching for the pee signs I never discovered. But she needs to learn it at some point, and there isn’t going to be another two-week period any time soon (or ever, if you ask me).

The first week of this normal winter vacation is about to wrap up. The first half of that week was fun, with lots of excitement and anticipation around Santa (“Santa’s comin” said my 21-month-old while pointing to the sky). We celebrated Christmas with my in-laws. My MIL always bakes an enormous pile of delicious treats and she and my sister-in-law make the turkey together. My little one provides free entertainment for the older kids, and because my niece loves playing with her, I actually get to eat dinner when it is still hot. We ate cookies, Christmas dinner, and played games once the little one was in bed. So yes, Christmas was a ton of fun.

The days after got a little bleak. It was six degrees (Celsius) and rain was pouring down. The little snow that fell on Christmas Eve seeped away, turning into massive puddles. The golf course, where we make our daily morning hike, turned into a water park for my kiddo. Boots full of water were brought back home. The days got a bit formulaic. Breakfast, wait for poop, go for walk, go back for lunch, nap, snack, more walking, make dinner, bedtime. There was nothing really wrong with this routine. At the same time, I had to admit that I missed my work. I opened my laptop once during naptime and felt concerningly happy to edit a manuscript for two hours. I could tell that my husband was getting restless too, as he started to come up with little projects, like putting up extra Christmas lights that didn’t need to be put up. What was wrong with us? Why couldn’t we have a normal relaxing vacation like anyone else?

I dissected the problem into two parts. The first problem was that there was no snow. I have no problem with not working if I can go cross-country skiing with the little one in the trailer, or take her up the mountain to step on skis in the snow and have hot chocolate in the lodge with one of her brothers. But there was no snow. Second, I felt that I was being lived by the rhythm of others, without having any autonomy over what I wanted to do. If it were up to me, I would be going for runs every day, or swimming, and ideally get a few hours of writing in. But it wasn’t up to me because I am part of a family. With kids that can be cranky, bored, or hyperactive. Kids who need sleep and need to be fed. I felt trapped.

Something needed to change. On day 10 of our vacation (or routine), I asked my husband if he wanted to go skiing. He looked surprised, and eager. Our little one was in a whiny mood. No need for two people to suffer, I said. While he drove off to the mountain, I put a jacket on my little one. What shoes shall I wear? I asked her. She picked up my running shoes. Baffled but excited for this opportunity, I put her in the running stroller and ran 5k while she was happily looking around. On the 6th kilometer, she wanted out and we ran together and watched a few dogs. The sun even came out. Well, yes, I thought by myself, while dopamine and endorphins were rushing through my body, this I can do for another week. I just need to make sure I exercise, and ideally get some time to myself now and then. Some me-time followed soon enough. Tired from all the running, my daughter took a three-hour nap. I wrote a blog, and read a book, and then baked a banana bread. The need to do something useful was still there. But I saw improvement, as I didn’t feel the urge to open my laptop anymore.